ELECTION OFFICER SHERIFF O'BRYAN UNDER INVESTIGATION BY ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE

Had quite a day at the polls on Election Day Tuesday. And, bein' a believer in transparent government, I figured I'd better spill all the beans, roll over on old Jodyboy, rat myself out, to anyone who's reading the digital news. As always, the words that follow are those of a bona fide censored Election Officer for The State of Kentucky. I was sworn to duty at the time of occurrence, and I extend that oath to God now, and swear that this is a fairly accurate accounting of the days events.

Tom Isaac - PLG-TV stopped in 'bout mid-morning at Parkway Baptist Church...everybody knew he'd know where to find me...operatin' a patriotic voting booth inside the lobby of The House Of The Lord.

He knew the rules.  The Sheriff is required by law to immediately confront ALL members of the news media, should they come into MY house.  No photos of voters.  No extended stay.  A report will be made to my superiors.  He read it all back to me...he knows the rules...and we were in complete agreement.

Tom's cool.  Known him for years.  We're gettin' to be old "Hi-Tech'ers" at our ages.  Cabled alot of black boxes together in our time.  So, while he's video-ing the "Kid's Vote" voting booth, with his fancy TV video camera, I whupped out my brand spankin' new digital pocket dictaphone and shared a recorded soundbite, with him.

I'd been accosted, in public and surrounded by friends, by a man who called me a yellow-bellied loser of an election officer...and thinkin' Hoss might have to slap the crap outta' somebody, [No, not really] I thought it might be a good thing to record this fella' teeing off at me.

'You let us down.  In 2007, when you first wrote, you gave us hope.  You stood up to 5 police agencies, them Drug Task Force guys, after they officially reported a sensational Pot bust, and you asked...Where's the million dollars worth of Pot?  Where's the boogeyman you're protectin' us from?  Don't see no pictures documenting a million dollars worth of danger!  Put your Pot on the table!  I wanna' see it!  And you guys want anonymous tips?  How 'bout gettin' 'em from a voting booth!?!  Will you support the citizen's right to vote on Marijauna Reform?  You shut 'em up, dude.  No answers from the secret police, not even for an election officer.  And then, in 2008, you challenged ANY sitting politician to support Government BY THE PEOPLE...don't let Kentucky finish butt-last in practicin' the principles of Democracy.  You shut 'em down, man!  And in 2009, when you begged The Churches to make 'em talk because of your Oath to God.  Man.  That was beautiful.  I thought I had a patriotic watchdog...barkin' fire and sounding off...a bulldog that just wouldn't quit until we all got to vote.  But you caved-in man.  You don't write anymore.  Who got to you, man?  I've been watchin' the papers for over a year now...particularly during voting season...and you're not writing anything anymore.  I watch for this sh!t.  Your editorials were the best political statements bein' made in the newspaper, throughout the whole year...and now you've stopped writin'...you worthless piece of crap, you!  You let all us voters down!'

He was laughin'...I was laughin'...by now, everybody was laughin'...and, of course, I was being badly berated by an old, long-time friend.  But we'd been outta' touch and he hadn't heard the news that I'm Kentucky's only censored election officer...BANNED BY THE KENTUCKY PRESS ASSOCIATION...they control alot of newspapers...influence alot of people...and he found out, with egg on his face, that if'n he's ever gonna' read me again, he's gonna' have to go to the internet and read me online.

"I don't do all that computer online stuff...don't even own one." he said.  So, my buddy grabbed my recording toy, re-directed, and vented his wrath towards my persecutors.  That's the soundbite that Tom was listening to.

It's because of friends like this, I said to Tom, as well as all of the other newspaper readers we have among us, that I protest so vehemently for my fair share of the printed newspaper.  Just gimme' the same amount of newsprint you freely give to your political, religious, and guest columnists, that's all I'm askin' for.  Until then, best that I can do is declare squatter's rights in their online Government Forum. [And they tried to block that!] Look around.  Read my essays.  Judge for yourself.  The Government Forum?  I own it.  Now, go back and tell your buddies at PLG-TV/The Kentucky Standard...y'all practically joined at the hip...that you've already seen written confirmation that people support my views.  Tell the editorial/censorship board...[chuckle chuckle]...now you're hearing voices.

He nodded his head and said, "No video Joe.  Makes for a great radio comment, but I'm TV and really can't do too much with that.  Run it by the radio station.  And, as for what's happening with the newspaper?  Remember, we've known each other for years and I've never censored you out of a single syllable...neither has PLG-TV!"

And I acknowledged the truth and thanked him for that.  Told him I might call on him, if I need him.  He nodded in approval, having divorced himself from the bad guys, and sauntered on out of the Church...no doubt feeling...cleaner.

So, 'bout an hour later, there I am thinkin' about things, how Tom Isaac showed up at Censored Election Officer Sheriff Joe O'Bryan's precinct...to video-tape an empty "Kid's Vote" voting booth, and get a thrilling shot of an official clerk lookin' at a voting roster...without a voter in sight...when it occurred to me...maybe, all he really wanted to do was get some assurance that PLG-TV and I have no quarrel...when suddenly, one of my election officer's informed me that 'A Man' from the State Attorney General's Office was in MY house.

You know, it was probably planned out to be just a routine visit by 'The Man'...making his way from precinct to precinct...harmlessly looking for potential violations of election law.  They say it happens, all the time.  But y'all already know, if you've been regular readers of my BANNED FROM PRINT political columns...I'm packin' a pair-o-noids the size of church bells...until Kentucky gets to vote, trust no one...and there's always the slight possibility that those sneaky, unseen, lurking-in-the-dark public officials, the ones that I'm making mighty uncomfortable, they've sent in 'The Axe Man', to maybe catch me pickin' my nose all wrong, or somethin'.

God love 'em.

I 'spect it wouldn't take much of a violation on my part before somebody'd have me ousted from the patriotic ranks of election officers.  So, I'm sorta' a confrontational type o' guy anyway, and I hadn't had nearly as much fun that day as I normally like, so I engaged Mr. Man From The Attorney General's Office, right there on the front porch of the Parkway Baptist Church.

'Hey Fella'.  Glad to meetcha'.  Do you know [un-named] that works there, in the Attorney General's office?'

'Why yes...fine person.' he said.  'You got 'dat right.  Old friend of mine, from waaay back.' I replied.  'Tell 'em I said 'hello', will ya?  They good people.  Meanwhile, I'm kinda' in a tough spot here and wuz wonderin' if maybe you couldn't answer a question or two...'bout some issues I'm having with my Official Election Officer's Sheriff's Report.'

'Sure. I'd be happy to help you Mr. O'Bryan. What would you like to know?' he said with confidence.

'If'n I use my report to contact The Secretary of State...expressly addressing its contents to The Secretary of State, and my local election board squelches it...says I'm "mis-using" an official document...has a crime been committed?'

And his ears perked right up and he asked me...'What are you talking about?'

So, I told him.

'I'm being censored by THE KENTUCKY PRESS ASSOCIATION, because of my political views...I believe Kentucky is over-due for a Marijuana Reform vote...and I reported this censorship, this wrong-doing, on my "Official" report, back in November of 2010...and my local election board don't care anything about the censorship of an officer, or any open discussion of pertinent voting issues, they just want to make sure that THE KENTUCKY PRESS ASSOCIATION doesn't suffer any public embarrassment, so they snuffed it.  Told me The State is not interested in political events that may have occurred during the year...but only those events that occur, on election day, 'tween the hours of 6:00am and 6:00pm.'

And, I threw in a little laugh, 'cause it really is kinda' funny, censoring an election officer in modern-day middle America...when the jacket-and-tie guy with the now-furrowed brow told me sternly, 'The County Clerk is correct.'

Imagine that.

So I "risked" escalating the tension I was sensing...went from a little laugh to a louder chuckle.

'Why Son, that's the same empty-headed narrow-minded interpretation that my County Clerk served up.  Leaves you with the same problem she's got.  I told her, I'll tell you.  Prove it!  Show me!  Show me where it says that I'll be an ignorant-ass Kentuckian, 364 days a year, and that I'll be oblivious to all the political corruption surrounding Marijuana, all throughout the year, and then, on election day, when I'm supposed to be representing the voter's best interest...activated as a 'Sworn to God' officer of the State of Kentucky, I'm 'sposed to conduct my voters thru the democratic process...but when it comes time to fill out, sign, and date the Offical Election Officer's Sheriff's Report, I have to leave it blank...even though I'm fully-aware, politically saavy, and commanded to report ALL [Uppercased and in bold letters] violations, potential violations, comments, tips and/or suggestions for a better voting process...but I cain't...cause The State doesn't want to hear any of it!'

The Big Man's eyes narrowed, and he warn't smilin' now, at all.  And, playin' The Devil's Advocate, I guess, he kinda' growled back.  'You say you represent the voter's of Kentucky?..but Mr. O'Bryan, [forcefully] what if I don't want you to represent me?'

To wit, I calmly replied...

'Why thank you for lettin' me learn you Attorney General boys a little sumpin' sumpin'.  All you need to do is follow proper procedures.  If'n you live up in my county, you go to the local election board and you petition to have this 'sombitch' [a favorite Jack Conway colloquialism!] removed from duty.  But in Nelson County, you won't find anybody stoopid enough to take on a righteous man...Der Volks Uberman...the People's Champion.  Now you?  You don't live in my county...but, as a Big Man representin' The State Attorney General's Office, you could take it directly to the State Board of Elections!  Tell 'em I'm outta' line.  Personally, I've been a hopin' and a prayin' some bright-eyed but gullible person would step up...play a fun game I called "Come Knock My Badge Off".  Yep, even wrote a little censored column about it...not too many big words...you should read it sometime...and you could have read it, in print, if I wasn't a censored election officer...but...you don't get it, do ya' boy?  None of the badguys want any publicity.  The last thing they want is public scrutiny.  If you're gonna' take me down, you've got to do it silently...anonymously.  Sneaky-like.  You have to fire your pot shots at me...from behind the grassy knoll.

Good luck with that, big boy!'

Sounding a bit exasperated, clicking on his ink pen, he curtly said, 'Tell me Mr. O'Bryan...'cause I've got 7 or 8 other stops I have to make today, what do you expect me to do?'

'Thank you.  I'll be brief 'cause I gotta' special place in my heart for over-paid State workers who spend 10 minutes of time with me and wanna' make out like it's been a long hard 10-hour day.  What I want you to do is show me I'm wrong.  You got a second set of rule books?  Bring 'em out!  I don't know what you're packin', but you can find the directive that I'm obligated to follow on Page 6...article 7...under the heading of "SPECIAL DUTIES OF PRECINCT SHERIFF"...

'Note ALL election law violations, potential election law violations, irregularities, and suggestions for improvements or other comments on the Precinct Sheriff's Post-Election Report(SBE 53)

...and I don't see no notation that shoe-horns me in, limits me to commenting only about the 6:00am to 6:00pm election day timeslot!'

'Mister O'Bryan, I'm not familiar with that and I'm no lawyer...so I can't comment on that.'

'Ain't no lawyer?  Weren't you the same guy advisin' me, two minutes ago, that I'm mis-using an official report?  Whaddaya' call that?  Practicin' law without a license?..on paid gov'mint time?  Now if you can't come up with anything that trumps my directive, then I say a crime has happened. Officer shot down. My local election board interfered with official government communications!

Your job?  You're supposed to report that.

My irregularity?

Well how 'bout the fact that I'd written, just 1 time, each election season in 2007, 8, and 9.  That means I've established precedence.  But in 2010 they censored me, they cut my throat, because I'm a VERY effective writer.  I can stand up, use my God-given writing talents...and I will make a difference, but they won't let smart people play! Listen to this guy...'

And I whupped out my trusty dictaphone and let him have it...made him listen to recorded testimony from an anonymous citizen...the same sound bite that Tom Isaac heard earlier in the day.

The irregularity that I can report, is the absence of Truth being pubished in the newspaper, and here you have a voting citizen, aware, and crabbin' about it.

How 'bout...Suggestions or Comments for improvement to the whole daggone voting system?

Here's one that I like to call...a no-brainer!  We don't tolerate the censorship of election officers!  We are the public's watchdogs.  It's our job to be ever dilligent, watching for corruption in the voting process, propagated by the corruption of Representative Democracy, and making sure, in spite of overwhelming odds, that the voting booth is always open to The Public in order to practice Direct Democracy...Government...by will of The People.

'That!  Right there!  Where did you get the idea that it's your job, your authority to make that call?' he barked.

'Why, from State Election Board Officers.  Yeah!  You see, apparently, I was a school-kid victim of a cruel Government experiment, forty years ago, when I was 12!  Called it the "Kid's Vote" program.  They're the ones who burned a wrinkle in my brain.'

'Look here,' I said, gently placing one hand on his padded shoulder, and with the other pointing thru the window glass at the "Kid's Vote" voting booth.

But there was a pause.

He didn't turn to look.

I looked back at him...and he had this nervous-eyeball-tic thingy, a-kickin'.  His eyes were darting back and forth, 'tween me, and my hand, gently resting on his sport coat, like he wuz trackin' an agressive ping-pong match.  I waited.  Eventually, his testosterone kicked in and his eyeballs steadied up enough to look me squarely in the eyes.  I grinned and exhaled a real slow, "Puhleeeez".  This government boobie was feigning like an assault was in progress, like I was gropin' a celebrity Kardashian boobie.  That's the problem with Kentucky government.  These public servants tend to think of themselves as revered public royalty.  Unapproachable and untouchable.  But, it wasn't my intent to physically intimidate the little sweetheart, I just wanted to enlighten her.  So I lifted my open hand away from his shoulder and re-asserted, "Look this way."

'Any minute now, my grade school teacher is going to be here.  She'd vouch for what I'm about to tell you.  The year was 1971, and Richard Nixon was about to be voted in.  A couple of government men appeared at my classroom door.  They spoke quietly to our teacher, who turned to us and announced that the Election Board had a spare voting machine.  One of the old one-ton mechanical clunkers with the crank handle curtain closer.  It would be open, all day on election day, for the entire school to vote on...if only she could come up with an election officer to operate the machine.  Well, everybody in class was wantin' to do it, but the wise old school teacher reasoned, if this student was going to be missing classes all day, it'd better be somebody who could afford to miss a class, or two.  She picked the kid with the highest grades in the class...me.'

Imagine that!

'They set the machine up, right outside the girl's gym class, and it wasn't very long into the boring process before I became distracted by a bevy of babes, dressed out in gym shorts, making their way to the nearby water fountain.  Well, one of those officers barked at me for not paying attention...but I told the guy.  'Mister.  Relax.  I've got the job figured out.  Somebody wants to vote?  I push the button on the back of the machine.  Next guy wants to vote?  I push the button on the back of the machine.  Next person wants to vote?  Repeat the button pushing process, as necessary.  It ain't rocket science!  It's a button-pushing job.  Relax.  I think can handle it.'

'No! No! No! No Boy!  This job is much more important than that.  What happens to America if its Government goes corrupt?  What happens when you can't trust any of the politicians.  What happens when the Churches have fallen...and The Law is out of order?'

I was respectfully silent.

'When the whole world is going to Hell in a handbasket, America's only hope lies right there in the voting booth...Direct Democracy...Government BY THE PEOPLE!  It's the only thing that can save us all, the power of a vote, and it's your job to ensure that can happen.  That's what us 'button-pushing' election officers are supposed to do...'

My flashback to the past was interrupted by the State Man, clicking on his pen.

'Mister O'Bryan.  I really have to be going...gimme' your name and number and tell me what you want to see happen here?'

He was ripe, so I let him have it.

'Take this down.  You're a government man.  I'm a government man.  Been a 'special' agent, I figure, since the age of 12.  Now I want to come in...from out in the cold, and I need your help to report in...to The President.  I'm from the patriotic "Kennedy's Kids" generation, having grown up remembering the mandate given to us by a slain U.S. President, who urged all of us to 'Ask not what your country can do for you...'  And now I'm having one of those 'Sputnik' moments that President Obama was talking about, during one of his Presidential Addresses.  In the past, he heard from the media darling, Joe The Plumber...a guy asking what can America do for him...and his high taxes.  It's my turn...Joe The Censored Election Officer Sheriff...reporting in.  Answering Kennedy's call with what he can do for an eroding America...and its voters!

I can insist that Direct Democracy be given a chance to restore a respectable, honorable, working, Kentucky Government, if 'We The People' can loosen the greedy grip our government has placed on Pot!

Put it to a vote!

Think about it.  Our Commander-in-Chief has ordered the best and the brightest of us, to step up...let our voices be heard.  If America isn't right, spell it out.  It's our time to correct the problems.  The Prez can't be expected to do it all.  And here, when I speak up...the newspaper censors me.

When I complain to my State Senator Jimmy Higdon, he replies with 'Thanks for the email', thinks that covers his butt for demonstrating responsive government, and then he stops communicating, completely.  Hail. Back in 2010, when Jimbo was makin' a name for himself wresting Mexicans...why...if'n I'd gotten arrested, one county over, in Washington County, protestin' like the locals there were, about the U.S. Marshals puttin' on a big show, huntin' down Johnny Boone Pothead, it's likely the arrest would have been made by tainted cops runnin' their own Pot operation, right under the U.S. Marshal's noses.  It was on the evening news.  If they went on to incarcerate me, one county over, in Marion County, at their expensive over-crowded correctional facility, that's where the guards were controllin' all the Black Market pot sales.  All of that is just a matter of fact and happenin' on Senator Jimmy Higdon's home turf...and he ain't gonna' be heard talkin' about any corruption goin' on over his way...no way!

Yes way. I think the notorious Cornbread Mafia, that sprung up in Jimmy-land over a decade ago, is still, very much, alive and well.

Senator Jimmy's a representative failure...so I write down my censorship complaint on my Sheriff's report and the local cronies controlling this town, snuff that.  Even when it was clearly addressed to the folks in Frankfort.  If they were doing the right thing, then we don't need an Office for Secretary of State, at all.  Then, that cowardly group, who could've used my supplied email address to inform me, at the time of their misdeeds...but didn't...when confronted six months later, they advise me to contact The Secretary of State, if I think an injustice has been done.  Well Duh!  I'd already tried to contact the Secretary...via an untouchable Sheriff's report...but they control things...they squashed it...now they're tellin' me I'm supposed to try, again.  So, I established contact via an alternative method...the Secretary of State's nifty website.  Filed my complaint right there and had a deaf dumb and blind computer server, from somewhere out there in the world wide web, immediately respond with an assuring automated message that someone would be made aware of my submission.  It's been months.  My email address was posted right there.  I've heard nothing...had no human contact.  Is that the way things are supposed to work here in Kentucky?

Knowing, that in several States who've practiced True Democracy...heard from 'We The People' thru the voting booth...those Supreme Courts have declared Marijuana to be a 'least priority' for its law enforcement agencies to be concerned with.  Somewhere below a parking meter ticket.  But here in Kentucky, I have to turn on the TV at night...hear another news report of official corruption...watch Hollywood comedies laughing about Pot...hear KET remind me that I live in a prohibition State that promotes alcohol, America's deadliest drug, and demonizes with propaganda, Marijuana, a drug which, at least one former Surgeon General says should be legalized...less harmful than cigarettes...and then, finish the night listenin' to Arnold Schwartzenegger, chucklin' on Jay Leno's couch, declaring for all of America to hear, 'Nobody cares if you smoke a joint'.

..and then I wake up the next day to the Bardstown morning news, to some story about shots being fired at my local Wal-mart, after a couple of destitute dumbasses get suckered in to making a small pot deal, enticed by big undercover government dollars, and when the dirty deal goes South and the potheads try to make a run for it, police bullets just have to start flying.

Madness.

And now, I'm speakin' the Truth on the front porch of a Church, catchin' grief from one of State Attorney General Jack Conway's junior boys...thinkin' he has the power to over-ride the Commander-in-Chief's mandate to speak out...by tellin' me it ain't my job to speak up...it ain't no big issue that I'm being censored...The State doesn't want to hear it!

Are you nuts?

But seriously, what chance do I have of seein' any justice, when your Boss, the Top Cop Attorney General himself, is embroiled in a cover-up political scandal over Marijuana and whether or not he influenced a drug investigation into his very own brother's activities!?!

Sheesh!  'Nuff said.  The G-man was scribbling notes just as fast as he could.  I could be wrong, but I'm pretty well sure the investigation is on!

Now I'd promised him I'd let him go...and he was sure squirmin' to git...asked him for one last moment, to show him the passage in the Election Officer's manual, before he left...no need to take my word for it...read it in print...and we both went back inside. And here's the funny thing that happened...and it's happened about everytime I've spoken up on my mission to God and country.

I was rewarded.

While I'm pointing to a short paragraph for him to cypher on, a retired beloved school teacher entered the polls...made her way past a handful of voters...past all the other election officers...'round the spot that the Government Man was occupying...in order to reach up and place her arms around my neck!  Put me in a full body hug.  And she announced to anyone listening that she just loved coming to vote...especially, seein' one of her honor students...now all grow'd up and in his 50's...still in service to the Voters of the State of Kentucky.

I couldn't have scripted and choreographed it, any better.

The political heathens in this town don't want to consider the possibility that I'm doin' right by the voters...and they darn sure don't want to consider the possibility that God may well be on my side.  That's ludicrous.  But I'm laughin' up my sleeve.  How could I have possibly known that this school teacher, the one I'd predicted would be here...any moment...would appear before the G-Man's very eyes, before he'd had a chance to make his hasty retreat?

Timing, folks.  It's all about the timing.  I stand fast in my previous contentions.  I am 'That Man In Time'.  An educated election officer who can point Kentucky in the right direction, a course correction, to end this corruption...just by pointing us all into The Sacred Voting Booth!

So help me God!

Joe O'Bryan
Election Officer Sheriff
Commonwealth of Kentucky